I wouldn't want to go out on a fucking limb here, but I'm fairly sure that this is the most important article written about sport, ever. It is basically the voice of a generation, thusly: "city marathons were like a beautiful, delicate flower that fat people ate and ruined, with their diabetes," end quote.
Purists believe that running a marathon should be just that-- running the entire course at a relatively fast clip. They point out that a six-hour marathoner is simply participating in the event, not racing in it. Slow runners have disrespected the distance, they say, and have ruined the marathon's mystique
I always ask those people, "What was your time?" If it's six hours or more I say, "Oh great, that's fine, but you didn't really run it"
Now that last gut-punch of we were all thinking it, she's just saying it comes from Julia Given, "a 46-year-old marketing director... [who] still finds ways to differentiate the 'serious runners' from those at the back of the pack." Julia recently finished the Baltimore Marathon in 4:05:52, which good on her because shit is not easy. But if Julia considers the first place finisher of said race had a time of 2:14:04 (or the 2:32:09 women's leader) then her own running needs serious work (oh ho HO, "ho").
Julia and her purist crew have drawn a line slightly below their own accomplishments, which is probably a great distraction from the fact that none of them will ever be competitive. Were they to actually get their wish and the field strictly limited, these brave champions of FWPs would likely either become bottom of the barrel or simply not qualify at all. Do you know who is not represented in this article? Anyone that actually is an elite runner. My guess is they are too busy not giving a fuck (or: winning).
There are probably plenty of overweight people trying to get a shirt and a medal in any given city marathon, but luckily if you hustle (something they are unable to do sans Jazzy) they can't catch you so as to offend your eyes or gnaw your calf. Look Julia, baby, your slightly under 10 min mile marathon is like being the fastest child molester. And child molesters all get the same sweet ass judicial prize regardless of tempo because, at the end of the day, they molested a child. At the end of the day, some number of people wound up 26 miles away from where they started. That is a marathon. That's it.
Hahaha. I wish Julia Given could read this. On second thought, I bet the comments section of this Op-Ed is a shit storm and she's already eaten her stupid words. On third thought, I doubt anyone in the comments section of NY Times illustrated their point with a child molester analogy so Julie should probably still read this.
ReplyDeleteMy vote for second best commentary on article (following your own) comes from John Passacantando. He says, "There are plenty of problems in the world, but slow marathoners ruining the "mystique" of the race is a new one to me. For the purists who believe that running a marathon is to run the race at a relatively fast clip I say, why use such a narrow, modern definition? Why allow gel packs and high tech hydration drinks? Remember this, pure means you run it naked and die of heat stroke at the end. I don't think slow running is the problem here."
ReplyDeleteA more reasonable take (although DAMN this bitch is slow!):
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/03/health/03well.html?hpw
Oh what, my news isn't fit to print? We hit all of the same talking points god it's like I don't even know you.
ReplyDelete